Does It Ever Get Easier?

 Back to School...all summer long I have been waiting and waiting for this. 

Well it's here and I am only three days into "back to school" and I think I am failing at it. 

Not sure if that is possible but I certainly don't feel like I am succeeding at being a "back to school" mom.

All summer while I had a billion and one projects to do with the girls including catching up on their home school studies, going to the library, park dates, turning on the sprinklers,turning off the sprinklers, reading books, help them clean their room, ....sigh......

All summer all I could think about was how many actual things I could accomplish in the fall..once the girls went back to school. 

However, as I mentioned earlier we are only three days into this and it is not going as expected....at all. I realize this blog is of course a bit premature. That doesn't mean that I am not struggling and seriously going through something. This is my very first experience with being a parent of someone in the public school system and I am finding out very quickly that I am reeling out of control. 

See when you home school your children there are certain privileges you get to molding your young one's mind in all things good and educational. I was in complete control of her language skills and math facts so I knew where she was with it at all times. 

Now that I am no longer in control of these things I found out that I have turned into something I never thought that I would actually be. I have turned into "THAT MOM"

Which has prevented me from enjoying my much anticipated "back to school" time.

If you are even a little bit controlling as a mother you may know what I am talking about. When we went to meet my daughters teacher I had already done all of my homework (well all that was provided, which was one sheet of paper) about this new person in my daughters life that would be controlling her educational future. 

I was a bit frustrated with her lack of serious concern for my many questions on the first day. I thought that would pass and I was probably just getting ahead of myself and that ALL of my questions would be answered once school actually started. 

So I waited and became almost more eager than my daughter as I awaited the first day take home packet. 

Which I thought for sure would provide all the pick up drop off details that I needed for my daughter as well as an ENTIRE itinerary on what my daughter would be learning throughout the day ( yes I do need to know what time of day my daughter is in P.E or music class) I figured it would also give me all the up to date security measures that have been improved since the Connecticut incident. I knew it would include the info on how many people were on duty on recess and exactly what happens at lunch time like how many classes would be there with her or is it just her class that eats together and what do they do after lunch?

Alas..the time came and I opened the packet and it was flimsy and weak..full of questions for me to give them and things I have already given them! There were a few things mentioned on security and pick up zones. But nothing nearly as in depth as I thought that it would be and NOTHING about what my daughter was learning throughout the day. 

I am not getting the info I need from my 7 year old as I pepper her with questions about her day.She simply tells me about the fun parts but nothing actually about her math or language lessons..sigh... 

 I found out that we don't have conferences until November...NOVEMBER that is 3 months from now..what if my daughter is struggling horribly in math for 3 months and I wont know until then.... GASP.... 

This whole thing is entirely much harder than I ever thought it would be. I am most certainly not the take it easy let go not worried mom as I most definitely thought that I was. My only question at this point ( since ive asked all of the other ones) is does it ever get easier?

Because at this point I may go INSANE and put a nanny cam on my daughters shirt to get the info I need....that actually isn't a bad idea...wait oh my gosh see....out of control!