We have entered into a new year and just like every other year since Y2k I entered it with slightly gritted teeth and my hands gripping the steering wheel of life. One of these years our number has got to be up! I really thought we were over when the Mayan Calendar was over or that time that guy knew it was the end of the world...for like the third time.
No matter how desperately I want to be one of those care free, happy, go lucky people I am still this conspiracy minded, looking over my shoulder kind of girl.
I can't help it though, I absolutely love the world of fictional books and fantasy. Dreaming big and getting lost in other worlds has kept me smiling and diving into books ever since I was young. So when I hear outrageously large stories about the world ending, all I really hear is a story ready to be told.
So because of this foreboding and doomsday mentality, it has always been difficult for me to make resolutions. I am always thankful nothing bad actually happens but still there is a teeny tiny part of me that is hoping Jesus comes back. Is that crazy? So the year 2014 is really no different..I mean on all of those really old 80's movies about the apocalypse the highest year I think they ever went up to was 2020...so you see where I am going with this. How far are we actually going to go? I know it says no one knows the day nor the hour but sometimes I feel like we are on that storm stopper game at the arcade waiting for the right moment to be pressed and then a bazillion tickets will come out.
I am sure I nearly lost most of you at the "Storm Stopper" reference. So this year ( all eight days of it) I have really done some soul searching. Of course I would love to lose weight but that really is something best saved for the spring. The weather controls most of my eating habits. Yes I would love to start pre planning my meals so that I don't have to use the defrost button every night. I would love to plan my shopping trips so that I run out of food at the same time as all personal care items like shampoo and face wash, as well as dog food and basically everything else that needs to be purchased from the store. I always have the goal to be a better mother and a better wife in front of me, so naturally I don't think I should limit that goal to January or the year 2014. I desperately need to revamp my time schedule and how I spend it but lets be honest until facebook gets old like myspace I don't see that one being remedied. Really there has only been one thing that has stood out this year that I want as a resolution.
My 2014 Resolution is to worship God with every thing I have.I get that this seems so cheesy and cliche but there are Sunday's when I sing but my mind is going a million miles a minuet not actually worshiping the one that I am singing about. I am so refined in how I sing and stand, I constantly get consumed with what I look like and how other people are perceiving me. So I am going all in. I want to worship like a little kid and go crazy for him. I used to think that only really attractive worship leaders had the right to do this ( seriously, not joking you) but I am past that. I want some of that crazy lady real and genuine worship. Obviously worship is not just music and it's not just on Sundays but I am referring to music. So when I am in church and aware of all the people around me and have my two kids in the pew with me who take turns asking to get water and go to the bathroom I want to vow to not let one Sunday go by with out giving it my all. I want to sing my lungs out, I want to run out of breath and possibly spit if necessary, I don't want to hold back anything. I have wasted way to much time being focused on me. I often feel like the little drummer boy wishing that I had something to offer God with my worship. I mean I have no voice, and can't play an instrument to save my life but I want to worship him with every fiber of my being. So I am starting this year with a bang and choosing to give him my all. My everything. So far it has been amazing. I am loving it, it is challenging and stretching but I love it and I can't wait to see where we ( me and Jesus) go from here.
For now this is a new year but the same old me!
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