Marriage In The Morning

A few summers ago during a woman's group, I was challenged by an amazing woman to start getting up with my husband in the mornings. She had mentioned how much it had begun changing her marriage and strengthening it, hearing her stories inspired me and I decided that I would begin doing this in my marriage. At that time my husband was getting up at 3:45 am ( which for obvious reasons is why I never got up before now) it took a long time for me to become consistent and not resentful. I know that sounds weird but out of my desire to be an awesome wife came this residual frustration; as though it was somehow his fault that I was now awake and making eggs. I hated that, I began to get really bitter and even comparing my marriage to others. Constantly thinking " wow i can't even wake up happy to see my husband" nope sad and honest truth, I began to put these demands on myself and out of that place of striving is where I decided to do my marriage.
Well the longer I kept at it, the more fluid it became and the more natural it felt. I obviously wasn't always the nicest person to wake up to but I began to allow myself that freedom to make the food and then curl up on the couch with a blanket until he kissed me goodbye. Then something shifted in me and maybe in him, its not that we prayed together every morning ( my words that early were not always the most holy) and its not that I woke up looking or acting happy but one day it just clicked. Jose began talking to me about his most favorite thing to talk about on the earth ( for some guys its sports or fishing) but for my guy its doctrine. Yes you read correctly, our early morning before the sun is even thinking of waking up conversations were about biblical doctrine. Jose is hungry for knowledge and understanding when it comes to the bible, he's poured himself over the years into learning and has become... well basically really really good at knowing scriptures and understanding their context. So our talks of God and all things ancient began to draw us closer as a couple and closer to God, because more often then not we argued about a particular point of view on a topic, it always pushed us back to the word.
These little talks became a huge staple in our marriage and we were both loving it, and then God laughed and changed everything.
I struggled with 3:40 am.
Jose's schedule was then changed to him waking up at 2:23 am.....( I wish I could make those numbers crazy big and bold but I'm too tired) so my awesome wife card went straight out the window with that because there was just no way I was waking up that early. Until a few days ago...I heard Jose mention that some of his buddies were bringing eggs and bacon in for their first break... As in their wives were packing it for them. He in no way was being manipulative ( I know when he is) he was just talking about how it smelled at break time.
Insert guiltiest feeling ever right here....
My husband was being sent to work with cereal and pop tarts and suddenly a very real rage came alive in me and I was determined to best those other egg and bacon sending wives. The next day I woke up ( which means he had to physically wake me until I got out of bed) I made him the best scrambled eggs that he ever had.
But what was better than the food was our little talks that we had back. Just our thoughts, our words, no interruptions from the three other women demanding his attention ( even though they are awfully cute) nothing but us. I became emotionally hungry for that time with him, so I'm back at it today and totally loving it...mostly because I do get to go back to bed... not  necessarily to sleep but at least to bed.
I love our mornings, I love how God uses them in my life, and I think what I love more than anything is how alive I get to see Jose become when he gets to be his true self with the safest most understanding person for him on the planet.
That's our marriage in the morning 💓

Hidden Hope

Okay,  I already know right off the bat your thinking.."wow, this girl blogs a lot" I really am not that obsessed I promise. 

But this would be the second blog in like two days...lets just ignore that for right now.

I am so excited to share this little bit of hidden hope with you. 

First in order for you to understand why this blog is so exciting to me you have to know a little bit of the background. Jose and I knew each other in high school, as some of you may know. He was this shy guy that I knew from another youth group we both attended separate from our home church's. That church was really the only place we ever saw each other besides school. This youth group had a really cool youth building with their very own worship stage, which I thought was just the coolest thing ever...

NOW PUT A PIN IN THIS WHOLE STORY WE WILL GET BACK TO IT........

Fast forward into my marriage, Jose and I have been blissfully wed for over four years. In our marriage one of the biggest lessons I have had to learn is patience. Like most women I tend to get a head of myself when it comes to "wants." I tend to throw out my suggested want into the air hoping my wonderful husband will pick up on it. Most of the time I have to be rather blunt and tell him what I want. In our first year of marriage it was ugly, I had no patience and didn't know the rule of hidden hope. 

Hidden hope is layered throughout my marriage, and never stops surprising me. 

The little things in my life that I may want, certainly not a need but just a desire of my heart, you know those little things we don't think anyone really cares about and we should really not want because there is world hunger?I learned a long time ago that its NOT bad to want something as long as your willing to wait for it.

Jose is the king of resourceful ness, he is probably THE most thrifty man I have ever met. We do not discard pennies in this household, every single thing that's of worth has a place in our lives. So I have learned to honor him with this, not wasting ANY food, buying discounted and as cheap as possible, its the least I can do since I get to stay home due to his thrifty ness. Well last fall, Jose was able to get some free wood and he built me a front porch, something that he knew I really wanted from when we first bought our house. This summer I lightly mentioned that I would love to have a bench on that beautiful front porch. We began pricing out bench's and oh my word I can not believe how expensive they can get. The cheapest we were able to narrow it down to was about $100 dollars, which was still outside of our budget because of our income/debt ratio. So I waited and sat on my ugly green lawn chair every day. Yes our front porch looked tacky but I was thankful for this beautiful front porch that my husband had created for me and knowing him, it would only be a matter of time before he managed to find a way to get me a bench. 

Now again stay with me

A few months ago Jose came into possession of a free stage, like a worship stage ( don't ask me how this man always gets free stuff) this stage just happen to be the same stage that was from the youth group we both went to in high school. They had renovated a few years back and friend of ours took the stage off their hands. All these years later here we are with it sitting in our back yard. 

Next thing I know my husband is breaking it down, pulling it apart and trimming the wood into manageable pieces. Two days later he fashioned that wood into a beautiful bench for me. 

My heart may explode...seriously, not only did he find a way to do this for free but he found something from our past, that worship stage was used so mightily in our walks with God throughout our high school years. So now sitting on our front porch is this piece of history that is drenched in praise and worship from years and years of youth pouring out their hearts to God, choosing him, choosing life. 

This whole thing comes at such a critical time in our lives, we both help with youth ministry and we both lately have been struggling with our place in it, and our hearts. Wondering if this is where God wants us, if we are even making a difference, after several tears and lots of prayer now sitting on my porch is a little piece of hidden hope from our Daddy God. He shows up in wildest ways. 

Thank you for reading and staying with me through the crazy story but I hope that you are encouraged as much as I am, God works all the pieces of our lives to weave in purpose and hope when we least expect it. Think about those tiny things that are in your heart and just put them in his hands, because he really is the only one that can work all things for good! 

~ Love Ashley