Zero to Crazy in less than Sixty Seconds!

This hunger is just so intense, its so hard to do anything else right now except push in even further than I ever have before. The things that used to fill this time slot in my life just aren't working right now, I must have more of Jesus. Its getting late and sleep is calling me!
Suddenly its early and I feel like I just fell asleep, but up, up I go.
Its dark outside and the Christmas lights create an unreal glow that awkwardly makes me even more sleepy. But here I am kissing my husband goodbye as he disappears into the freezing cold. The door shuts and all I want is my bed back.
But there it is again...that hunger. It has never been this intense in all of my life. So with my eyes heavy I push forward and push into him. Terrified to wake any of the three sleeping beauties in the house I whisper prayers and have worship playing so quite that I am not actually sure if its playing or if its in my head. There I sit 4 am in bed praying and worshiping  with daddy God.

Out of no where there is an incredibly ugly noise nagging at me to leave my bed..beeps and beeps and somehow seems to be getting louder....wait...how did I fall asleep? I was pushing into God and I fell asleep... suddenly that time Jesus asked his disciples if they could just stay awake and pray with him for an hour flashed in my head. Epic fail... screaming comes from the kitchen. Not only had I fallen asleep but I was now late waking up. The girls are fighting over who sat in "the chair" last... who knows what is so magical about this chair but it seems to keep them arguing nearly every meal.
I feel ...tired...more than tired..I feel completely undone.
Here I am desperate to make coffee but its a new package and my fingers don't seem to be working, do I dare use the scissors?
Then the horrible realization sets in that I forgot a child in her crib who now appears to be screaming at me and I have to make these small people breakfast.
Food...walking...preparing....
My brain has clearly left me and since its Friday I feel like giving the kids cereal yet again would just be torture... which ..don't even ask me why.
So I decide to make smoothie shakes for everyone...including the baby.
Don't even ask how that mess turned out.
How on earth do I feel like I have been standing over a fire with my eyes wide open all night...
The baby is trying out her new dinosaur screeching sounds as loudly as she can.
The seven year old that has a heart the size of Texas is informing me of her can drive and taking out half of my cupboard stock putting it on the floor. Which I then managed to trip over...
The five year old is bringing out every necklace that I own asking which one looks good on her.
How on earth was it only three hours ago that I was in this remarkable place of peace and harmony with Jesus? How do I go from 0 to crazy in 60 seconds?
As I sit here and ponder this crazy thing we call life all I can think of is how God must be laughing at this whole situation..not in a mocking or mean way but in a loving daddy way.  I can't help but laugh at the cheerios now scattered across my kitchen floor (yes somehow cereal was involved after all)  or the two loads of laundry sitting in laundry baskets on my couch or the printer paper

that my one year old just scattered all across my floor. All I can think of is how madly and crazy in love I want to fall with Jesus. I have always loved him but I need more than what I had... I need more than what I have been ok with. I love that he reminds me that I am a mother and a wife and his daughter first! Before anything else those are the things I am always no matter what season of life I am in those three things will never change. So as I crave his presence more and more I will be reminded of who I am more and more. So for now I am sitting back and enjoying the ride and making lots and lots of coffee!

December Delight

 I have decided that blogging once a month is about all I can afford time wise and I realize that there isn't anyone dying to read my blogs but there is a small place inside of my self that loves to blog and just get my thoughts down.
I internalize quite more than I care to admit so its a really good thing for me to blog.

So moment of truth, now that its December I have to admit that I didn't finish my thankfulness blog from November there was a tiny chance that I said that would happen but hey who's keeping track?!

Now onto this beautiful topic of DECEMBER!

I usually am NOT a fan of cold weather or winter. I am a summer girl all the way but this year I am really trying to focus on the good in all things which is a process in itself but one that is working...slowly but surely.
I am so excited for this month!
Not for any particular reason other than its new and its full of possibilities. I love Christmas but if you put all your excitement in that one basket then as soon as its over then winter will just be cold and with out the glow of  all things Christmas.
So I have decided to be thankful for Christmas but it is not my winter nutshell. I am blessed because this year we had snow fall right off the bat in December it didn't stay but for almost an entire day there were snowflakes blowing everywhere.
It rapidly rushed into freezing here for some reason, not sure why we plummeted to 0 degree weather but even that I am thankful for. Mainly because all that wonderful summer weight I lost has recently found me again and what better time for layers!

I noticed very quickly that the month of December basically booked up in less than 3 days...now usually when that happens you know there are some scheduling issues that need to be worked out. So I decided I need to write out the things I have going on..just so that I can see them. Everything I do is stuffed inside my phone and the calender only shows me one day at a time so I literally take it a day at a time haha.

So I have a few things brewing in my life right now...
 We have three grace groups happening right now..two we individually attend and then one we host
I am volunteering twice a month at a non profit organization called Micah's Hope also once a week at the Pregnancy Resource Center. Jose has practice usually once a week and I have prayer once a week. We have church and volunteer things happening within church on Sunday's. So when this gets broken down onto a Calendar it quickly books up nearly every night or day of the week.

Some people would look at those things and think either that is nothing compared to the list of million times ten other things they are doing ... or they will think we have too much going on with Jose working full time and us having 3 kids. But all I can see when I look at this is God's provision and amazing faithfulness! Every single thing on this list and there are a few items not listed  just for personal reasons but in all these things God is working something for good and for completeness! I remember having some of the things I am doing now just as a dream in the back of my mind years ago as though it was so far off and un realistic. God really is amazing and always has perfect timing. I am blessed by the peace that fills this space in my life right now, the joy that pours like oil from each and every thing we are apart of. It is enriching our lives in ways that we never thought possible


So this December words can't really describe but I am so excited! I look forward to all these things that I am doing because in turn I see God doing something in me. Its one of the busiest but most FUN season's of my life. I can usually feel if there is something that isn't fitting right in my life but its just not that way... I love the change and the freedom that comes with the change, just like the winter is slowly creeping in and changing everything fall had brought so I see God weaving in and out of these things that are happening and changing in my life. Not to mention that this month marks several birthdays of some of my favorite people on the planet. I get to see some of my family for an entire week and my long lost older brother is coming to visit. So among-st  all the amazing spiritual things happening there are some pretty exciting family things happening as well. I can't wait!!

Because no matter how cold it gets this December is Delightful!